[Mood:  okay]
[Music: When The Night Comes Down, Tiger Army]

IT'S A NEW LAYOUT! HOLY PORN MOVIE, BATMAN!

I've always given this specific one away....and now I'm hijacking the graphics as my own. BWAHAH! It's the bridge from Coin-Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls. What a song. :D

I really regret missing TA in concert last May. Damnit.

...can you tell I'm really bored?

Warped Tour is coming up fast. Are you going? If so, you'll see me there.

Layout in progress.

Be patient.

[Mood: bathing in the afterglow]
[Music: Sorry Bunch, my beloved Dolls]

FOR A BETTER VERSION, CHECK TEH LJ.

Yesterday was The Dresden Dolls at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. I was estatic as soon as I woke up yesterday morning, and from then to when I finished my white and black eyes and hopped in the car, I nearly exploded. As I put on my Dolls shirt, I got so overwhelmed than I nearly started to go insane. However, I managed to get on my white and black eyeliner and red lipstick without too much of an issue. My mum and I drove to SF, and as soon as we drove down O'Farrell, we saw them. Dresden Dolls fans have a certain look to them that you certainly not deny: they're amazing. When my mum and I got in line, we saw girls dressed as fourties movie stars with veils covering their eye and black devil horns, more than three people in Renaissance clothing, plenty of early-1900s suits with brocade vests and top hats, and a multitude of cross-dressers, men in black suits and glasses, and living dolls. As we got inside, I learned that cameras were allowed...and I had not brought mine. I felt like a moron as I took my place on the floor: a mere 5 feet from the stage. The Great American Music Hall is tiny, but stunning- it has murals on the celings, chandeleirs, low lighting, and details in gold. People ballroom danced to the Amiele soundtrack as two stilt-walkers-male and female-mingled with the crowd. The music ceased, and the lights dimmed, as a small, portly, bald man with a moustache and glasses came out. He was Paul Nathan, our master of ceremonies, decked in a 1800s suit with black vest with purple brocade. He then told us what a "nice, mild mannered, sweet, polite" auidence we were, promptly adding:

"This show is going to fuck you up."

The crowd? We went mad.

Enter the first band: Rosin Coven. Their stage was set up with a xylophone, cello, double bass, drumkit, trombone, violin and guitar, and as they entered, in their top hats, corsets, and cabaret gear, our minds were blown. As the lead singer: a petite, rail-thin woman with long, lifeless platinum hair and a white and black corset and a white ball skirt walked up to the microphone and purred "Welcome to the Pagan lounge," the audience was enthralled. They had a dance troupe with them, the Vau de Vire Society, who were STUNNING. They contorted, danced, and tumbled their way into our hearts as they surrounded us in the stage. The music was intoxicating as men with vines covering their suits and wild, white eyes had us say "love" and "decadence." I have since learned that they were trying to re-create Edward Gorey's The Disrespectful Summons. However, during the finale, you could notice a familiar female figure in a black dress and peculiarly drawn on eyebrows dancing like a maniac with the dancing troupe.  As they left the stage, mildly disturbing men in tophats wove through the audience with silver trays laden with candy and fliers for the crowd. When they finished, stilt-walkers lead human marionettes through the crowd and strains of cabaret graced our ears. It was a circus-like atmosphere, and so decadent and lush that I did not want to leave.

But then it hit me. A stricken, panicky feeling, where my chest nearly caves in on itself. I tend to get it when I am overwhelmed with excitement, and it feels like if whatever I am anticipating does not happen soon, I will keel over and stop breathing. Finally, our master of ceremonies came out. He performed a magic trick involving whipping cards out of a man's mouth with a bullwhip, and then told us a dirty, dirty story about the Dolls that had never left the conversations between them before...or so he said.As the lights dimmed and the toy piano starting "Good Day" twinkled overhead, I was screaming so hard that I made my poor, sore throat go mute. They entered, and I nearly became shell-shocked: I was so close, I could have touched them. And to see Amanda's shining face and Brian's big grin caused me to nearly double over with joy. The songs they played, as I remember, were something like this...

[The first two are in order. The last one is right as well.]

Good Day
Ultima Esperanza
Missed Me
-new song-
Coin-Op Boy
The Mouse and The Model
Gravity
Backstabber
Mandy Goes To Med School
Amsterdam
Half Jack
Girl Anachronism
[Add a buch of songs I do not remember the name of]

[ENCORE]
Two solo Amanda songs
Sex Changes

I started crying during The Mouse and the Model. It is my favorite, and to sing my heart out to it whilst standing right in front of them was amazing. Not only were they amazingly dramatic, but they were FUNNY. Here is an example of the snappy banter...

Fan: AMANDAAA!
Amanda: -looks up- Yessss? -everyone starts laughing- It always is so weird when someone calls my name...I'm afraid I have to do something.
Brian:  -into mic- Amanda, go to the principal's office.

It was hilarious at the time. What can I say?

Brian is one of the most amazing people to watch live, ever. He is a beyond brilliant drummer, and he makes very dramatic faces whilst doing so. However, he was having problems: his snare drum kept getting loose. He joked that it was made of paper maiche and cardboard, but he was starting to get frustrated because he had to tighten it after every song. Finally, he snapped.

Brian: AARRRGGGHHH!
Amanda:  Uh-oh. Brian, are you having trouble?
Brian: YES!!!!
Me: We still love you, Brian!
-Brian sees me and kisses in my direction-
Amanda: Contain yourself, Brian! -is laughing madly-
Brian: -goes into lotus position- Ommmmmm....ommm...-giggle giggle-
Amanda: Oh yes, find your core, Brian. -laughing hysterically-

Yes, Brian Viglione, my dumming hero, blew a kiss at me. I seriously am still smiling about it. :]

The dance troops joined them on Girl A and Missed Me. Missed Me was HILARIOUS: all the female dancers were dressed up as kinky school girls, and the males, old, perverted men. The principal dancer was beaituful, and she disappeared for half the song, only to return as the school girls got their revenge and started to beat up the old men whilst her "mister" watched from behind a cage. She was, of course. pregnant! She tried to get to him in total vain. Girl A was just as good: the dancers were in straight jackets and black tutus, and threw toilet paper all over the stage and climbed around like possessed spiders. The doctors simply stared, took notes and talked quietly to eachother. During the second stanza, out came the Girl Anachronism: she was unraveled like a mummy from her gauze entrapments to reveal a black leotard and tutu, black pointe shoes, and scars all over her body. She was twitchy and neurotic in her movements, and couldn't hold the yellow roses and toilet paper thrown at her as she twitched so badly. It was an amazing display of dance and music, that I certainly plan NOT to forget it.

[Mood: not the best]
[Music: I'm Your Problem Now, Mindless Self Indulgence]

LET'S HAVE SOME POPULAR SOVERGINTY!

What should my next layout be?

Kiss Me Goodnight As I'm Falling Asleep: Ayria [ lyrics ]

Untitled: The Cure [ lyrics ]

The Mouse and the Model: The Dresden Dolls [ lyrics , scroll a bit]

The Dream: The Birthday Massacre [ lyrics ]

or

Blue: The Birthday Massacre [ lyrics ]

Leave some ideas. Pwease?

Love love love.

[Mood: amused]
[Music: Temptation, Tiger Army]

To Jenny: You are my hero. We are doing this piece if it kills us.

To Drama students....read on. I crave the part of Love Intrest or Pirate #2.

GUY 1. 'Sup dude.
GUY 2. Hey.
GUY 1. What's going on?
GUY 2. Just watching that burning house over there.
GUY 1. What burning house?
GUY 2. It's offstage.
GUY 1. Oh.
GUY 2. But it's there.
GUY 1. What's the deal with it?
GUY 2. Plot device.
GUY 1. What do you mean?
GUY 2. Plot device, dude. You start the story with a guy standing in front of a burning house and go from there.
GUY 1. Oh. How's that working out?
GUY 2. I don't know. I was just standing here and then you showed up.
GUY 1. Is it like, a symbol or something?
GUY 2. Probably.
GUY 1. I don't get it.
GUY 2. Yeah, neither do I.
GUY 1. No offense, but this is a pretty shitty plot device.
GUY 2. Give it some time.
GUY 1. This is going nowhere.
GUY 2. The hell is your hurry? Sit down, have a smoke.
GUY 1. I don't smoke.
GUY 2. Well this is my story and in my story you smoke.
GUY 1. I don't want to smoke.
GUY 2. Smoke the goddamn cigarette.

[GUY 1 takes a cigarette from GUY 2 and takes a drag from it. He chokes and coughs.]

Way to smoke.
GUY 1. I said I didn't smoke, didn't I? If the smoking is so important you should have lit one up.
GUY 2. I don't smoke.
GUY 1. Shouldn't there be firemen on that house by now?
GUY 2. We don't have any firemen.
GUY 1. Who do we have?
GUY 2. You and me, so far.

[Enter LOVE INTEREST stage RIGHT.]

And her now.
GUY 1. Who's that?
GUY 2. I don't know, probably the romantic interest.
GUY 1. She's not too bad.
GUY 2. She's doable.

[Enter JERK stage RIGHT.]

GUY 1. Another guy? We already have two.
GUY 2. This guy's important.
GUY 1. Why's that?
GUY 2. He's the jerk boyfriend. Eventually she realizes he’s a jerk and falls in love with me, who's been by her side all along.
GUY 1. You don't even know her.
GUY 2. It's my story.

[Enter RANDOM stage LEFT.]

GUY 1. Who's that?
GUY 2. I don't know. He exits stage right and we never see him again.

[Exit RANDOM stage RIGHT. We never see him again.]

GUY 1. Here she comes.
GUY 2. How do I look?
GUY 1. Simian.
GUY 2. Thanks.

[LOVE INTEREST sniffles.]

Excuse me.
LOVE INTEREST. Huh?
GUY 2. Hi.
LOVE INTEREST. Hello.
GUY 2. Want to fall in love?
LOVE INTEREST. Excuse me?
GUY 2. Fall in love. With me.
LOVE INTEREST. I don't understand...
GUY 2. Your boyfriend's a jerk, and you hate smokers, so that leaves out this guy here.
GUY 1. Oh, you asshole!
LOVE INTEREST. Is this a joke?
GUY 2. Nope. Don't fall in love with me straight away, though. We need to draw out the sexual tension until our eyes meet under the stars or something. Then we kiss and everybody's happy and curtains fall.
LOVE INTEREST. I don't get it.
GUY 2. That's how romances are done. [to GUY 1.] Hey, are you done with that cigarette?
GUY 1. Yeah.
GUY 2. Here's another.
GUY 1. Damnit.

[JERK approaches.]

JERK. What the fucking cockshit?
LOVE INTEREST. Oh no, please, Jerry, I was just…
JERK. Fuck that goddamn, I'm fucking pissed the fuck fucking.
LOVE INTEREST. We were just talking…
JERK. Fucking football shit ass shit shit fuck slut.
GUY 1. I hope there aren't any kids in the audience.
GUY 2. He doesn't care; he's an asshole like that.
JERK. Fuck.
LOVE INTEREST. No, Jerry, I told you, I don't want to discuss the finer points of Marxist economic theory right now.
JERK. Cockslap bitch fuck fucking ass.
LOVE INTEREST. I'm Smithian and always will be. Your eloquent rhetoric will never change that.
JERK. Motherfucking fuckslut fuck a fuck.
LOVE INTEREST [with a sob]. Now you're just being hurtful!
JERK. Fuck!

[JERK exits stage LEFT. LOVE INTEREST cries. GUY 2 opens his arms. She flings herself violently into them, and cries on his shoulder. After a while, she stops crying and they catch each other’s eyes. They pause for a moment.]

GUY 2. Beat.
LOVE INTEREST. What?
GUY 2. In acting, this is called a beat. It's a division of the scene when two characters have made a mutual discovery. In this case, you have discovered that I am your true love and I have discovered I have a chance of scoring. And it all happened under silvery moonlight.
GUY 1. Dude, it's two in the afternoon and we're indoors.
GUY 2. My story.
LOVE INTEREST. I want to kiss you.
GUY 2. Damn straight you do.

[They kiss. Tenderly at first, but then they start to get a little carried away.]

GUY 1. Whoa, whoa! Keep it PG.
GUY 2. My story!
GUY 1. You know what? I'm getting sick of "your story". This is my story now. And my story has fuckin' pirates in it.

[Enter PIRATE 1 stage RIGHT.]

I said pirates!

[Enter PIRATE 2 stage RIGHT.]

PIRATE 2. What up?
GUY 1. Hell yeah! Do some funky pirate shit.
PIRATE 1. Like what?
GUY 1. I don't know. Do a pirate dance.

[The PIRATES dance.]

Now this story is going places.
GUY 2. What? This is stupid. Romances don't have pirates in them.
GUY 1. This isn't a romance any more.

[PIRATE 1 starts "waxing that ass".]

LOVE INTEREST. Those guys are freaking me out.
GUY 2. Yo! Hey!

[The PIRATES stop dancing.]

You're killing the mood over here.
PIRATE 1. Just doing as we're told.
GUY 2. Get out of here.

[PIRATES exit stage RIGHT, grumbling.]

GUY 1. Dude, I went along with your crappy story.
GUY 2. My story is not crappy.
GUY 1. Yeah it is.
GUY 2. No you are.
GUY 1. You're just jealous because my story also has robots in it.

[Enter PIRATE 1 stage RIGHT.]

What? I said robots this time.
PIRATE 1. Man, I was just onstage. I didn't have time for a costume change. Pretend I'm a robot pirate.
GUY 1. That's stupid.
GUY 2. Your whole story is stupid. It's not even a story. Mine had an intricate plot, yours is just some pirates.
GUY 1. He's a robot.

[PIRATE 1 starts doing the robot.]

LOVE INTEREST. Oh. My. God. Somebody please tell the dancing pirate to stop, seriously.
GUY 1. He can't help it! Poppin' fresh moves flow through his veins like the mighty Ganges.

[Enter PIRATE 2 stage RIGHT with rope.]

PIRATE 2. Did someone ask for a reef knot?
GUY 1. No man, a robot.
PIRATE 2. Oh.

[Beat.]
[Exit PIRATE 2 stage RIGHT.]

GUY 2. This is ridiculous. [to PIRATE 1] Stop dancing.

[PIRATE 1 stops dancing.]

Exit stage right.

[Exit PIRATE 1 stage RIGHT.]

GUY 1. Alright, I see how it is. Beat.
GUY 2. Beat?
GUY 1. That's right, beat. Your romantic interest just discovered your horrible secret.

[ROMANTIC INTEREST gasps.]

GUY 2. I don't have a horrible secret.
GUY 1. That's not what you told... her sister!
LOVE INTEREST. You bastard! I hate you!
GUY 1. Enter Pirate 1, stage right.

[Enter PIRATE 1 stage RIGHT.]

She runs into the pirate's waiting arms.

PIRATE 1. What?

[LOVE INTEREST runs into PIRATE 1’s arms.]

GUY 1. They get married and she forgets about you.
PIRATE 1. Sweet.
GUY 1. After they exit stage left.

[Exit PIRATE 1 and LOVE INTEREST stage LEFT.]

And they spend their days dancing the night away. You can't really tell because they're not onstage anymore, but rest assured they're dancing their hearts out. The end.

[Lights begin to dim, curtains begin to fall.]

GUY 2. Hey!

[Lights go back up, curtains draw open.]

What was that for?

GUY 1. You ended my story, so I ended yours.
GUY 2. That wasn't cool.
GUY 1. Neither was you sending my pirates away.
GUY 2. I guess.
GUY 1. I'm sorry.
GUY 2. Me too.
GUY 1 and 2. Beat.
GUY 2. I'd hug you but I'm homophobic.
GUY 1. So now what?
GUY 2. We can keep standing here by the house.
GUY 1. Let's not.
GUY 2. Okay.

[They begin to exit stage RIGHT.]
[Enter PIRATE 2 stage RIGHT dressed as a robot.]

GUY 1. Sorry man, you're too late. We're done.
PIRATE 2. But...
GUY 2. Better luck next time.

[Exit GUY 1and GUY 2 stage RIGHT.]
[PIRATE 2, alone onstage, looks dejectedly at the audience. He attempts a half-hearted robot for a few seconds before giving up.]

PIRATE 2. Ah, screw it.

[Exit PIRATE 2 stage RIGHT.]
[Curtains fall.]

Abso-bloody-lutley fantastic.

I seriously have no life. But I love you all as much as I love....-ponders this one over.